The Heavy Day: The Anniversary of Death

This time of re-mourning, so to speak, coincides with more neurological aloofness from Larry. I have pondered whether his lack of connection and cognition have been more prominent to me because of my mourning or just inevitable progression. I’m not sad but reflective. I think about my own mortality and whether or not I am occupying all of the spaces that I’m supposed to and creating a legacy that aligns with who I know me to be. The day was filled with busy work as Larry paced from room to room technically unresponsive to any prompts or attempts at engagement.

As I hold at bay the need for him to see me, to hug me knowingly, to engage in my presence in real time, he is oblivious. Rest well mom. It been a week. It’s been a heavy day.