Shower of Tears for Robb Elementary in Uvalde, Texas

Each evening I find my peace as I shower. The warm water and the sound it makes as it hits my body soothes me. I say a prayer and run through the schedule of my day. Larry’s breakfast and lunch prepared, check, Larry’s hygiene needs are met, check, Larry’s medicines are crushed and labeled, check, the dog is fed and watered, check, all of my personal items are reasonably put away, check, the washing machine has detergent and bleach and the settings are set for any soiled linens, check. These are the things that get sorted while I get refreshed for the day ahead.

Tonight my peace was disrupted by tears. While I prayed, the faces of those children and educators in Texas flashed before me. The husband that died of a heart attack. How will the hearts of their 4 children ever mend? Tears disrupted my asks from God. Tears mingled with the water that was no longer soothing. Tears streamed for who they were and what they would have become. The cure for cancer or Parkinson’s disease, The first Latino president of the United States, the lawmaker that creates a bill that ends racially motivated crimes, or the educator that writes a universal curriculum that levels the playing field for all underserved communities may have died at the hands of a disgruntled teenager. Tears engulfed me and I found myself sobbing. I sobbed for the parents and families, I sobbed for the community, and I sobbed for the world. A world filled with laws that allow police to shoot and kill black men and women and children with no recourse and allow bigoted, evil, and mentally ill people to purchase assault weapons in communities where assault weapons have no place. Our communities and schools, supermarkets, churches and public spaces have been turned into active war zones. The citizens have no warnings, no danger signs are posted, and no mass public service announcements are made; just shooting. The world is broken and my heart keeps shattering. The sadness is overwhelming as I struggle to acknowledge the joy that is happening simultaneously. My only ask from God is comfort for those whose hearts are bleeding.